AP Middle Earth
by Calenalkar
Summary: What happens when Elrond tries to give the fellowship the AP Middle Earth test like the ones High School students are forced to take at the end of every year???
1. Prologue

AP Middle Earth  
By Alyssa Wood  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Ok, I wrote this short story because I'm in all the nice AP (Advance Placement) classes the world could offer. This is just what I think would happen if the fellowship was forced to take the AP test that's given every year to High School students. ALSO: elfbrods rpg! Please join the fun of playing a LotR character and messing up each other's lives! You can e-mail me at admin@elfbrods.zzn.com or view our site at http://www.elfbrodsrpg.tk. AND PLEASE visit because we are dying for new members who are bored and have time to put some life into our 6-person rpg...*thinks* and imagine we started with 26...  
  
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing...  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Elrond stood in front of his AP Middle Earth class. The fellowship looked uneasy under his heavy gaze. "Today, we are taking the final AP Middle Earth test that I know you have loathed ever since you entered my class. Here are the rules: no talking, fighting, making disturbing noises, or EATING during testing times." Sam and Pippin sunk in their chairs, holding a handful of mushrooms and carrots in their arms. "Any questions?"  
  
Merry, the "intelligent" one, raised his hands, making the annoying "oh, oh, pick me! Pick me!" cry. Elrond sighed and pointed at Merry. Merry looked smug as he put his hand down and tried to look smart. "How about Frodo's can opener? Is THAT allowed during the testing, too?" Frodo looked sharply at Merry.   
  
"Leave my can opener alone! Bilbo gave it to me as a good luck present!" Frodo cried, tears welling up in his pretty blue eyes.  
  
"But that's not fair!" Merry answered. "If WE can't eat, then HE shouldn't have his can opener!"  
  
Frodo pulled out his sword. "Oh yeah? Feel the wrath of sting, evil demon!"  
  
Elrond, panicking, took out his bow and pointed it at the hobbits that sat down in fright. "Frodo, put the can opener away and no one will get hurt." Frodo's face was sour and he put his can opener in his backpack.  
  
Legolas laughed at Frodo and began to sing "Bye bye bye!" Frodo, getting angrier than before, charged the elf that sat two rows over. "DIE DIE DIE!" Frodo cried out. Legolas, not knowing what to do, took out his bow and started shooting in every direction, accidentally hitting Boromir a few times.  
  
Boromir cried out (although the arrows only went through his clothing, missing his skin). "YOU SHOT ME, ELF! DIE DIE DIE!" Boromir then charged the elf and they got into a large brawl. Aragorn and Gimli, not knowing who to take sides with, started fighting all three of them. Sam, Pippin, and Merry made their escape down the vent and into the garden where they were having a field day of picking mushrooms.  
  
Elrond pulled out his bow again, and nailed them all to the walls where they the arrows glued them. "STOP FIGHTING! Legolas, give me your CD player. CD's aren't allowed during testing."   
  
Legolas made some unusual whining noises and stubbornly said "No!"  
  
Elrond, pulling out his sword ominously, demanded back, "Do it or you'll regret it!"  
  
Legolas sadly put his CD player in his backpack and Elrond unglued them from the walls. Elrond took out the test and stared at the class, noticing that the hobbits were gone. "Oh shoot, not again!" the Lord of Rivendell then raced out of the room, heading for the garden where he was positive he would find them.  
  
When he found the hobbits, Sam had already made a cornstalk doll and was trying to feed it mushrooms (not knowing that it wasn't real). "Come on, Mr. Frodo! I'm sure you got to be hungry!"   
  
Elrond grabbed the hobbits by their toes/toenails. "And for you three, DETENTION!" The hobbits groaned in reply.  
  
When Elrond came back to the classroom, the room was a wreck and everyone was fighting each other AGAIN. When the room FINALLY settled down, the bell rang and the whole turmoil was left for the Lord to clean up. "Well, at least they're gone," the elf said to himself, and began to clean up the room, dreading what the next day was going to be like when he tried to give the test again...  
  
The End 


	2. Beginning of the New Schoolyear

AP Middle Earth  
By Alyssa Wood  
  
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Author Note: What? You really thought I was going to leave you hanging? If you did, don't tell me because I won't like you half as well as you deserve. Anyway, here's the next chapter of APME! It's kind of lame, I think. More sword fighting. I really got to find another idea. ALSO: Elfbrods STILL needs more people! My NEW address is admin@elfbrods.zzn.com. Or visit us on the web at http://www.elfbrodsrpg.tk!   
  
Disclaimer: I own the class!!! YES!!! But the characters are Tolkien's...or Tolkien's sons??? I donno...I forgot. I just know they aren't mine.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
LIBOV ANDREEVNA: Are you still a student?   
TROFIMOV: I expect I shall be a student to the end of my days.  
  
(Beginning of School year)  
  
Sandy walked through the halls of her High School, staring clueless at her schedule. She remembered quite well what she had signed up for this year and none of it was called "APME" and neither had she heard of the classroom "R9". "Sounds like some security room," Sandy fantasized while Finding the room and then she opening the door.  
  
"Welcome to Advance Placement Middle Earth!" Elrond boomed with an excited grin. Sandy walked into the room and noticed strangely dressed people all around her. "Finally! New student!" This must have been some nightmare...  
  
"Um, I need to go to the front office," Sandy turned to the instructor, her eyes showing a look of terror.  
  
"Why is that?" Elrond's happy grin began to fade.  
  
"I need to get my schedule changed. This isn't the class I signed up for," Sandy explained, looking around at the strange people.   
  
"WHAT?" Elrond thundered, holding up a spork ominously. "NO ONE DARES TO LEAVE THIS CLASS! YOU GOT INTO IT AND YOU'LL DIE BEFORE YOU GET OUT!" Sandy flew back to the door, staring wide-eyed at the elf lord.  
  
"Ok, ok!" Sandy cried, taking a seat between Legolas and Frodo. Her cheeks paled and she felt miserable in the "geek" class.  
  
Elrond smugly sat down behind his odd desk. "Elves, dwarves, men and hobbits! We FINALLY got a new student in this class! Meet Sandra Winters! Everyone, grab a plate and let's CELEBRATE!"  
  
Sandy fell into her seat in embarrassment. Not knowing what to say or do, she turned to Frodo. "Hey, midget boy, how long have you been in this class?"  
  
Frodo turned to her, looking quite annoyed. "To answer the latter question, I've been in this class for thirteen years and I was the last person to enter. And to reply to your boy-boy REMARK, FEEL THE WRATH OF THE SPORK!" Frodo hopped onto his desk ando pulled out a fistful of sporks, attacking the already-freaked-out Sandy.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" Sandy fell back as Frodo jumped onto her desk. It took Aragorn's sword, Legolas' bow, and Gimli's axe to sustain the raging hobbit and when that was done, he still had steam swirling out of his ears.  
  
Elrond sent the Hobbit to a dark room where some shrieks were heard echoing into the room. "Now, to get into some Middle Earth History, you all are going to give...what do you know? PRESENTATIONS!"  
  
The class groaned. Elrond divided the class up into four groups of six. Sandy was stuck with some people named "Ewin, Arwin, Leglis, Faramar, and Pippen". Elrond danced by the group and declared their subject as "cheese munchies".  
  
"How's THAT supposed to relate to Middle Earth???" Sandy yelled back.  
  
Elrond shrugged. "I don't know. You're supposed to tell me that!"  
  
Sandy sat back in the chair, staring at a LONG piece of paper. When she looked back up, she noticed everyone staring at her. "Oh no!" she rejected. "I am NOT doing this project!"   
  
Aragorn handed her a piece of paper. "Good luck, kid!"  
  
Sandy sighed. "This has GOT to be a dream!" she thought furiously, starting on a project she knew absolutely NOTHING about in a place that she never heard of.   
  
"Cheese Balls relate to Middle Earth because the tiny people grew them instead of cotton in the thirteenth century. They ate them on PLATES with SPORKS and lived happily ever after, the end."  
  
"There!" Sandy threw the paper at Elrond. "I did the project."  
  
Elrond looked quite excited as he got the paper. Quickly looking over the paper, her addressed to the class, "Miss Winters has kindly shown us an example of her genius work! Bravo! Now, Samwise! Presentation, please!"  
  
Sam jumped up in front of the class and started in his high, squeaky voice, "My presentation is how Jell-O is related to Gollum!" A hiss could be heard a few seats behind Sandy, but she didn't dare look back in fear of seeing something awful. "I've found that green Jell-O and Gollum look so similar, you can't tell the difference!"  
  
The hissing grew louder until something green flew by Sandy and dashed into the front of the class. Sam, looking quite alarmed, took out his sword. "BACK, GOLLUM! BACK OFF! STAY AWAY FROM Mr. Frodo!"  
  
Elrond hit his head with his hand as he used his elvish powers to make Gollum sit down again. "I'll give that a 'C'," Elrond replied airily.   
  
Sam, looking quite sad, then turned angry, took his sword and attacked Elrond. The class was in an uproar until the bell ring and the class filed out. Sandy ran out of the room and found one of her friends, Alyssa. "You would NOT believe which class I got put into," she cried and the days will never cease!  
  
To Be Continued... 


	3. Next Day

AP Middle Earth  
By Alyssa Wood  
  
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Author's Note: I write again! You cannot escape me! Thank Mike from elfBrods for the subject. Speaking of Elfbrods, have you signed up yet??? If you haven't, then you can e-mail me at admin@elfbrods.zzn.com or visit our site at http://www.elfbrodsrpg.tk . Thanks!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters that I have destroyed.  
Claimer: I OWN THE CLASS!!! THE CLASS AND SANDY ARE MINE! You can't use either idea without written permission by myself or...well, myself. Thank you!  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
(Next Day)  
  
Sandy woke up to the sound of coffee mugs banging downstairs. This was the morning signal for her to get herself out of bed and down for breakfast. When she had rubbed all the sleep that had possessed her out of her eyes, she looked around faintly. The first day of school seemed like nothing but a mere dream.   
  
"Sandy, you'll be late for school!" Mrs. Winters barked at her daughter, handing her a cup of coffee and sending her out the door before the girl had time to get dressed, do her hair, and such. Sandy was left that morning, standing in the middle of the yard, her backpack in one hand, a coffee mug in the other, and still warmly dressed in her stars and moons pajamas.  
  
"I have a feeling this is going to be a really bad day," she grumbled as she started walking to school (because she had already missed the bus).  
  
~*Two Periods and One lecture later*~  
  
Sandy walked into her third period APME class in a miserable fashion. She was, indeed, incredibly late and received a harsh warning from the principal. And now she stumbled into class wearing her old, stinky PE shoes and pajamas.   
  
"This is stinks," Sandy muttered, taking her seat between the hobbit and elf.  
  
Legolas returned her remark with a disgusted look. "What ARE you wearing? Are those your night cloths?" he screwed up his face to reflect his astonishment.  
  
"Yeah and if you want to keep talking, elf boy, I'll give you something that will make people stare you at you forever!" Sandy held up her fist. Legolas, taking the reply as a challenge, took out his bow and aimed it at Sandy's forehead.  
  
"I can kill you right now," he thought more to himself than to Sandy. Frodo stared in fright, realizing that if Legolas missed or Sandy ducked, the arrow would go straight for him.   
  
Elrond walked into the room and found the two ready to fight. It was some magic from him that made Sandy sit back down and Legolas to drop his bow. "Good morning, class!" he laughed happily, forgetting the scene that he walked in upon. "Guess what we're going to do today? Research, Research, And more Research!"  
  
Sandy looked quite annoyed. "And what are we researching? Cheese balls?"  
  
Elrond returned her look, "No, Miss Winters, we're going to write a ten page essay on the importance of television and internet in the sixth age of Middle Earth."  
  
"Oooh! Oooh!" Merry cried from his seat in the back (Elrond couldn't stand the site of him sitting in the front anymore and it was an easy way to ignore him). "Professor! PROFESSOR!" Elrond covered his eyes and pointed at the gitty hobbit. "Middle Earth is IN the sixth age yet!"  
  
"Shut up, hobbit! I'M the professor here! Have you lived for over 4,000 years? I don't think so. Now, ten page essay due Friday!" an evil smile was fixed to the Elf Lord's face. The class groaned.  
  
"Hey!" Merry cried angrily. "No one has EVER told Meriadoc Brandybuck to shut up!" Merry took out his sword and aimed it at the Elf Lord. "DIE, EVIL ELF LORD, DIE!"  
  
Merry jumped from his desk and landed on the elf's head, punching, biting, and bouncing (?). Lord Elrond picked up the hobbit and threw him out the window (oh, did I mention they were on the third floor?), leaving the students in shock, staring at the broken window.  
  
Pippin hopped to the window and looked down. "Are you all right, Merry?" he cried.  
  
A whimper came in reply, half in pain and half in glee. "Ooooooooooo...MUSHROOMS!"  
  
Pippin fell from the window at the word and a second later there was a bang as he hit a drummer in the High School band. But out of the confusion, they heard him cry out, "MUSHROOMS! MUSHROOMS! MUSHROOMS!"  
  
The other hobbits (Rosie, Sam, and Frodo) followed the hobbits out the window and one by one, they kept hitting more band members (a few flutes...who's going to miss them, anyway? no offense...). Elrond left the room to retrieve the hobbits and taken them to the health office where they were treated for their wounds and lectured for their "attempt of suicide". The report came back that the hobbits were to take 3 years of counseling because of this incident.   
  
And while this was happening, there went another day of APME. The bell rang and Sandy raced out the door, not wanting to look back. She caught up with her friend, Alyssa, again, trying to explain her strange day and failing terribly...  
  
This isn't the end of APME...just the beginning of another history... 


	4. The Quiz

AP Middle Earth  
By Alyssa Wood  
  
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Author's Note: this is a SHORTER chapter because I'm running out of time (I still have ideas...). If you really love these characters, ElfBrods STILL has openings including a few in the fellowship and a few elves...e-mail me at admin@elfbrods.zzn.com or go to the site, http://www.elfbrodsrpg.tk for more information. PLEASE!!! We need active, bored people who can commit to doing this!!! thank you!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't think I should do these anymore. I've already disclaimed for three chapters...this is enough...  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Today, class, we are taking a quiz!" Elrond announced as the class was seated three periods into the day. "Rules of testing: do not talk, look at me or your notes, and NO EATINg FOR THE LAST TIME!" His glance went to Pippin who had mushrooms coming out of his ears from the day before.  
  
The class groaned. Sandy looked confused around herself. "What's the test on? What are we supposed to know?" she panicked.   
  
Legolas looked quite annoyed with her, not liking her ever since their clash. "You should have paid more attention," he responded coldly, watching Elrond pass out the quiz.  
  
Sandy's insides began to churn in fright. This couldn't be good. She stared at the test that was handed to her and almost fell out of her chair.   
  
Question #1  
  
Who is the fairest of them all?  
A) Lord of Rivendell  
B) Master Elf  
C) Keeper of Greatest Elven Ring  
D) Elrond  
  
#2  
  
Who's a child of Elrond?  
A) Saruman  
B) Arwen  
C) Gollum  
D) Wormtongue  
  
Sandy stared blankly. She had no idea what the answers were and started choosing random answers. "How am I supposed to know anything about this Elrond dude?" she thought to herself, angrily as she circled "C".   
  
Essay Question:  
  
How do cheese puffs relate to Middle Earth?  
Sandy's Answer: I don't know and I don't care.  
  
As Sandy finished up with the test, she heard a weird noise behind her. Looking behind her, she saw the hobbits, each of them holding a roll of duct tape and tightly bounding it around an unconscious Gimli. Sandy fell out of her seat, laughing hysterically, waking Gimli up and causing him to fall to the ground. The hobbits ran away, leaving the dwarf rolling around.  
  
"NOBODY BINDS A DWORF!" he yelled insanely, making the class acquire fits.  
  
Elrohir and Elladan then picked up the dwarf (not liking them no matter what they did for the world...evil grudge) and tossed him out of the window. "NOBODY TOSSES A DWAAAAARF!" he cried as he crashed to the ground.  
  
The class gathered around the window to see the dwarf roll around on the grass. Sandy tried to watch, but the room was already taken and turned back to her seat. Legolas was fast asleep in his desk and the hobbits had rainbow markers and were attempting to make him look like a clown: his nose was cherry red, his mouth blue, his eyes greenish, his cheeks orange and his forehead purple. A paper was attached to the elf's back that read "Shoot Me".  
  
The loud bell rang and Legolas woke up. At first he didn't notice anything until Elladan and Elrohir started making "obvious" comments. The last thing Sandy heard as she ran out of the room was death threats made by Legolas and a few ear splitting cries... 


	5. There's More To This Class Then Meets th...

AP Middle Earth  
By Alyssa Wood  
  
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Author's Note: This is a little...interesting. I just put some words together, but it was kinda funny in my mind. We're still looking for more people! If you STILL want to join, we're STILL looking for more members for Elfbrods, an insane rpg that I can't run unless we have members (and it's a little more aligned with Tolkien than you think)! Please check us out at http://www.geocities.com/elfbrodsrpg/!!! Thank you!  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
There's More To This Class Then Meets the Eyes  
  
  
Will wonders ever cease? Well who said they exist? Sandy stared blankly at her quiz from the day before.   
  
"An sixteen percent! I did that well?" Pippin squeaked from the ceiling (where Aragorn and Legolas hung and tied him after he had driven the class up the wall, literally).   
  
"MERRY! I got a whole sixteen percent on the quiz yesterday! I'm so proud of myself! YAYAYAYAYA!"   
  
"Would you shut up, hobbit?" the dwarf grumbled, rubbing his axe with a terrible crave to use it. "You're stupider than you look!" The dwarf apparently hadn't gotten over what happened the day before and had a desire to get rid of the hobbits for good.  
  
Sam giggled as he watched Pippin happily. "Look, Mr. Frodo! It's a Piñata!" Sam grabbed a giant wooden spoon from Elrond's desk and started hitting Pippin, who couldn't feel anything, anyways, swung freely and happily.  
  
"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" The binds on Pippin's ropes broke free and the hobbit went flying across the room and landed on Faramir and Eowyn.   
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Eowyn jumped up, holding a pizza cutter and followed by Faramir who was holding a pizza. "That's it hobbit! YOU'RE GOING DOWN!"  
  
The hobbit darted for the window, screaming "RAPE! RAPE! ABUSE!" Putting a helmet on, he jumped and the class crowded around the windows in awe. Sandy noticed a pattern in the daily routine. It usually began or ended with someone jumping or being forced out of the window. What's with that stupid window, anyway???  
  
Elrond walked in and immediately got the class back into their seats. Sandy thought it was a pity because the elf happened to get on her nerves. "You're quizzes have been graded and they have been handed back to you. You all stink! And thank you to the ONE   
person who said I wasn't good enough to live in a coffee can! You know who you are!"   
  
The class looked around and found Boromir "arrowed" to the wall, grumbling insanely about how Elrond should have given him the "ring" in the first place. "Stupid little hobbit wasn't good for anything!" he muttered idiotically. "I want the ring! It's mine...all mine...and no one else wants it more than I!"  
  
Sam took on the defensive. "YOU DARE TO SPEAK ABOUT MR. FRODO THAT WAY!   
  
DIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!" Sam charged for Boromir with a football, determined to knock out the Gondor man's gizzards. Unfortunately, Galadriel stopped him and tied him to a chair. "MR. FRODO! MR. FRODO! HELP! HELP!"  
  
"Thank you, Mother-In-Law," Elrond replied nervously. "And now, to continue, I'm pleased with the results-"  
  
Pippin jumped in. "I'MMMMMMM BAAAAAAAAACK!" he announced. Eowyn, jumped up and began to pursue him, but Pippin showed her a new bike. "You think you can out run me, evil woman of the ponies! I will show you!" the hobbit tried to jump on the bike, it being WAY too big and failing. In the end, he ended up running down the hall, being trailed quickly by Eowyn.  
  
Elrond looked hopeless. "This year seems hopeless. ANYWAYS," Elrond cast a dark glare that got everyone's attention, "our highest grade is by Miss Winters, followed by Legolas!"  
  
Sandy looked up in astonishment. "What??? BUT I ONLY GOT A SIXTY-SIX percent!"  
  
Legolas grumbled, staring angrily at the girl. "Yeah...and barely passed me, too...and I've been in this class for seventeen years...how can she be smarter than me? Elves are perfect! PREFECT I TELL YOU! SHE CHEATED! SHE MUST HAVE LOOKED ON MY TEST! I WANT REVENGE! RE-GRADE! JUSTICE!" Legolas held up his bow in defiance, but the bell interrupted his blowup and the class flew away before his eyes, including his competitor.  
  
Sandy ran out of the room, hoping Legolas wouldn't miss her in the frenzy. This was a wonder...what kind of class was allowed to do this??? 


	6. There Are Scarier Things

AP Middle Earth  
By Alyssa Wood  
  
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Author's Note: well, sorry to get this up late, but it's here! I need ideas to continue this!!! If you want to see this continued, please, in your review, write four unusual objects! That's all you need to do to see this continued! And elfbrods STILL needs members...I'm getting tired of stating this in every chapter...  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
There Are Scarier Things...  
  
...Teddy Bears...  
  
...Chocolate Cake...  
  
...Blenders...  
  
"HUH?" Sandy jumped up, confused, until she saw Pippin sitting next to her. She had fallen asleep like most stup- students will and now the class stared at her as Pippin whispered things into her ear. "AH! GET AWAY!"  
  
Legolas laughed in her face. "Scared of the hobbit?"  
  
Sandy rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, trying to ignore the arrogant elf at the same time. "At least I get higher grades..." she muttered angrily.  
  
Elrond glared at the class, waiting for silence. "Today, we're doing 'Middle Earth History'. Get a partner and I'll come around and give you a subject!"  
  
Sandy groaned. This was NOT her day. She partnered up with Glorfindel, sitting a bit away from him because he looked and acted so much like Legolas. Elrond came around to their group and said, "This group will be doing fluffy teddy bears and how they are used by the elves in the second age and then by the hobbits in the present!" The class began to laugh uncontrollably while Sandy slid under her seat.  
  
Glorfindel was too busy shooting paper airplanes at Arwen, causing Aragorn to scowl back while the two elves flirted a bit, and then ending in a fistfight. Glorfindel, aiming his arrow wrong, accidentally headed for Faramir and barely missed.  
  
"Oh, that's it!" Faramir stared at Boromir, who he thought had shot the arrow (even though Boromir was in the OTHER direction). "YOU'RE GOING DOWN!"  
  
Boromir, seeing the invitation, took out his sword and held it parallel to his torso, the "pointy-end" barely above Boromir's head. "You want to fight! Then die in peace!" The two charged each other while everyone else flattened themselves against the walls. Even Elrond stayed out of the way, knowing their fights were worse than they're threats.  
  
It ended quickly, though, when Gandalf stepped in and, before they knew it, the two brothers had eighties hairstyles. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" they cried, looking at each other while the class was rolling on the floor, laughing (rofl!).   
  
"Settle down, class! Settle down...now, Winters? Since you should be quite awake now, you're up first!" Sandy and Glorfindel walked up in the front of the class, holding a poster of a giant teddy bear and an elf (who looked UNUSUALLY like Legolas).  
  
"Our project that *I* so wonderfully did, is about-" Glorfindel began when something red, green, blue, and pinkish, raced past the two and into the wall. Everyone turned his or her heads to find Pippin stretched out on the floor.  
  
"I'm ok," he jumped up, getting back on his blazer scooter and going in the opposite direction. Unfortunately, he winded up in the "Black Room" that Elrond kept for really bad students and there were a few squeals, hisses, cries, and screams before a white and green hobbit ran back out. "Now I know what Gandalf meant when he said there were fouler things than the orcs in the depths of the world!"  
  
Eowyn noticed the hobbit and grabbed her pizza cutter. "YOU AGAIN!? DIE! FOR VALAR'S SAKE, DIIIIIIIIIE! I THOUGHT I ALREADY KILLED YO!!!" Pippin, seeing the threat, dodged for the window, but this time the window didn't break.   
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-don't kill me, Miss horsie lover! I didn't do anything!" Pippin rolled up into a ball in the corner of the room and gave Eowyn his "sad, innocent eyes".  
  
Eowyn gave in and sat back down. Sandy stared at the bored, wondering how Pippin did that...maybe it would work for her (That hobbit-cute-eyes think must be some strategy...no wonder hobbits populate the Shire like bunny-rabbits!).  
  
Glorfindel, quite annoyed, TRIED to continue, but the bell ring and the class filed out before you could blink. Sandy was glad for the bell...it seemed to be the only friend she had... 


	7. The Hobbit's Revolt!

AP Middle Earth  
By Alyssa Wood  
  
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Author's Note: I need more IDEAS! Thank you, Aguachica, for sending me ideas to write this story! *Bows to her* Anymore people want this to continue? Don't make me resort to my brother...that's a pain...PLEASE!!! *get's on her knees and begs* someone give me four unusual, never-thought-of-unless-someone-else-says-it, OBJECTS!!! Thank you to Marina, Kathie, Bre, Sam, Kiri, and everyone else on EB who pitched in ideas for the last few chapters! And thank you for the reviews! They help a lot!  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The Hobbit's Revolt!  
  
Elrond gave threatening glances to the class. Sandy looked around, confused. To her left, the hobbits were tied to their seat (which actually is a good thing) and on her right, Legolas gave her dark looks, not like the competition between them.  
  
Elrond held up a book in front of them. "This book will be your new text book. You will love this textbook. This text book is your friend and deserves respect like all other normal things," Elrond declared sternly, pointing at a stack of books in the corner. "The elves will be passing them out. Please RESPECT the elves."  
  
Arwen passed Sandy a textbook, the title and the picture were a pale yellow and the rest of it was dark, untouched black. On the cover read "Middle Earth Traditions and Encounters" by J.RR. Tolkien.  
  
Sandy pointed to the author and turned around to where Eowyn was sitting and asked, "Who's this?"   
  
Eowyn stared shocked, her wax lips falling unnoticed off her face. "WHAT? You are kidding RIGHT??? How can you NOT know who HE is??? He created Middle Earth! You can't be in this class and not KNOW who HE is!!!"  
  
The class stared at Sandy with unbelieving eyes. Sandy hid herself behind her hands. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I wasn't thinking..." the poor student was still confused, but decided not to question further. Perhaps she'll find out more in the book...   
  
"EWWWWWWWWWWW!" Pippin cried, staring at the red thing on his desk, which was Eowyn's wax lips. "Get your FAT, UGLY LIPS OFF MY DESK!"  
  
Eowyn turned to stare at the tied up Pippin. "Are you insulting MY WAX LIPS???" the Xena-warrior-type woman yelled back. Pippin nodded disgusted. "THEN FEEL THE WRATH OF THE COATHANGER!!!" Eowyn held up the white, plastic coat hanger and pointed it threateningly at Pippin.  
  
Sandy jumped up, feeling a sense of courage. "STOP! Don't do it!"  
  
Eowyn fell when she heard Sandy speak up. "What did you say, you little girl?" her face was set and fierce, a piercing stare almost blinded Sandy.  
  
"I said stop! Leave the Hobbit alone! It's your stupid lips that's bugging him!" it was foolish and Sandy knew it, but she had to try. Sandy held up a fruitcake her mother had baked last Christmas and held it up as if to throw it.  
  
Eowyn backed down. Who really wanted to feel the wrath of a 9-month-old fruitcake? Sandy backed down, still holding her ground fiercely. "You got spunk, little girl," Eowyn spat, "but I suggest you keep your mouth closed next time and mind your own business."  
  
Sandy let out a relieved sigh and glanced at Pippin who was gnashing at the cords around his arms. The other four hobbits were attempting similar techniques until finally Merry got loose. "I LIVE! MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" The five hobbits (Merry, Pippin, Sam, Frodo, and Rosie) jumped up, holding black shoe polish.   
  
"You all DARE to tie up Mr. Frodo!" Sam bellowed. "Sauron's evil still exists in this classroom! TO ELROND!!! POLISH HIM!!!" The hobbits charged to the class instructor who, through this event was sitting lazily against, now bolted for the door. The hobbits ran after the teacher, the class following intently.  
  
"It's so amazing," Legolas said in awe, standing next to Sandy. "You can live with hobbits for years, but they continue to surprise you daily!" Legolas turned to find Sandy, and, realizing whom he was standing next to, urgently (also embarrassingly) ran off to find Arwen and Aragorn.   
  
"Well, at least he has some human sense," Sandy muttered to herself as she walked back into the classroom to gather her stuff, just in time for the bell. 


	8. A Person In Black and a Promise

AP Middle Earth  
By Alyssa Wood  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Author's Note:  
Hey, all! I'm thinking of making this an actual class where you "study APME" and take an "APME test"...any volunteers? Oh, if you haven't already, go read OFUM/MUSM *grins*. It shall be a fun year!  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Elrond sat in the darkness of the school, looking over papers and essays. AP Middle Earth isn't the easiest class to manage and it's even worse when the class has continuously failed to pass even the simple class itself, let alone the AP test. But there is a light this year as Sandy Winters joins the class and that is the only ray of hope left in the course.  
  
A person clothed/cloaked in black walks into the room and to the teacher's desk. "How is your class managing?" the person asked the Elf Lord.  
  
Elrond looks back, half in fright, half in awe. "We are doing, umm, better. Thank you for sending Miss Winters."   
  
The person seemed pleased. " Beware, there will be more to torture," And the person left with those last words. It was going to be an interesting year...  
  
(This is not an end, but a foreshadowing. It ends with the AP test...believe it or not) 


	9. Suicidal Hobbits and The Bag

AP Middle Earth  
By Alyssa Wood  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Author's Note: thanks Marina for giving me the objects. I owe you a lot of recognition f0r giving me more ideas. Hey, we still need members for EB, but I'm going to stop announcing this as people don't seem to care or don't have time to care. Anyways, read on!  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Suicidal Hobbits and The Bag  
  
  
...Grumbling...Someone Singing...Bubbles Popping...  
  
Sandy sat in heaven as she heard the Hobbits trying to reenact some war or another. But Sandy didn't care. She had had enough homework the last couple nights (AP History, AP English, AP Chemistry, and Honors Math Anal) to last her a lifetime, and according to her standard time, it was still 6:00 in the morning, LONG before her alarm was going to ring.  
  
"BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"  
  
Sandy jumped when she heard the horn go off. At the front, one of the hobbits (Pippin, of course) was blowing a horn as loud as he could and cried out, "RUN, HOBBITS! RUN!" Two of the hobbits started to race off, but were captured by Aragorn and Faramir who picked them up and threw them across the rooms.  
  
"HEY!" Merry cried as he slid to the floor after hitting the wall. "That's not how it goes, you fool! We're supposed to be CAPTURED! By the orcs! And have a heroic ending when Eomer and some of the Rohirrim come and burn all the orcs and-"  
  
"Oh, hush Merry!" Frodo elbowed the hobbit. "Don't you think we've reenacted this part enough times that they already know that? Boromir is in shock already and it's only been five minutes!"  
  
A knock on the door capture their attention, especially Elrond's who opened it. A medium brown-haired girl with a thick Australian accent walked in. "I have a schedule change, sir," the girl started to say when Elrond took her schedule out of her hands and jumped for glee.  
  
"YES! YES! I KNEW YOU WOULDN'T FAIL ME NOW!" Elrond cried out. Sandy looked at the girl, sympathetically. The poor kid had NO idea what she was getting into. But neither did Sandy.  
  
"Hey!" Sam whined as he popped up from behind an orc costume. "She just ruined our play!"  
  
"No, she didn't, Sam," Rosie protested. "Aragorn did. He threw Frodo and Merry across the room!"  
  
Sam gasped. "Aragorn hurt Mr. Frodo?" Sam grew stubborn and angry and jumped up in front of Aragorn. "YOU THREW MR. FRODO!? HOW DARE YOU!" Sam grabbed a fish knife out of his pocket (because Elrond had already taken away his sword) and charged Aragorn, like a bull who had seen a red flag being waved in his face.  
  
The new girl jumped and ran out of the room in terror. She didn't get very far, because she reappeared in the room, looking extremely frightened (Galadriel's magic isn't THAT normal). "What do you all want with me???"  
  
Elrond looked at her. "This is an AP class. Have you ever heard of a place called Middle Earth?" The girl shook her head. "Aw, well...just take a seat behind Miss Winters and you'll find out. Hobbits and Elves and Humans! Welcome Megan Atwood!"  
  
Megan hid herself behind her bag. This wasn't cool...not cool at all.   
  
*Tick...chip...mick...cling...yip*  
  
Sandy found the hobbits in the back corner of the room. One had a ball of yarn wool and Merry was patiently knitting it, the knitting needles making a "clanging" sound every time they hit.  
  
"SHHHHHHH! Quiet, Merry! You're going to give us away!" Pippin whispered harshly, loud enough for the class to hear. The hobbit, who had his back to the class, didn't know that everyone was aleady watching them intently. It was only moments after that they jumped up, each holding a parachute-type blanket and opening the window threateningly.  
  
Merry jumped onto the windowsill, yelling out for the class to hear, "NOW you see me! NOW you don't!" And the hobbits jumped, followed by the other four hobbits.   
  
"OOOOOGH!" "AUGH!" "MERRY!" "PIPPIN!" "GET OFF!!!" "MWHUSHWROOMS!" "YOU JUST LANDED ON MR. FRODO!!!"  
  
Boromir ran to the window to see what damage was done."Bombs away!" he cried and threw down a brick that must have hit something because there were a few cries following.The class gathered around the window, trying to get the best view of the suicidal hobbits. Sandy stayed glued to her seat. Megan was still hiding behind her bag.  
  
"Hey," Sandy said to the girl (or actually, the bag), "welcome to AP Middle Earth!"  
  
Megan looked out from behind her bag and straight at Sandy. "Thanks." The girl smiled and for once, Sandy didn't feel like she was alone. For once, Sandy didn't feel stupid. And for once, Sandy really began to enjoy this class...amazingly.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Tip for writers: hey, if you are serious about seeking a career in writing and you're a freshman in high school or younger (or even sophomores will do), I suggest that you take Honors/AP English. I'm taking it right now and it's helped me a lot so far. Also, Honors/AP History will do you good, also. It will help with the detailing. Reading history is like reading a book. It paints the picture for you to imagine, except you are given this and you have the right to make something of your own out of it... 


	10. Unleashing the Nazguls & Galadriel’s “Wr...

AP Middle Earth  
By Alyssa Wood  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Author's Note: sorry it took so long to put up this chapter! Thank you so much to Marina for submitting the subject lines!!! If you want to do it, too, send me a list of four strange, never-would-normally-be-remembered objects!!! Thanks!!! READ On!!!  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Unleashing the Nazguls & Galadriel's "Wraith"   
  
  
Megan trudged angrily to her third period class. She definitely wasn't having the greatest day (not finishing her homework during history and couldn't find her PE cloths) and so going into a class that she never heard of nor signed up for didn't seem like the best thing in the world. Especially since the class was full of...well...weirdoes.  
  
But fortunately, there was one sane person...  
  
"Megan!" Sam and Frodo waved at the new girl. "And how was your first day in the class?" Sam asked, his small face beaming with joy and Hobbit happiness.  
  
"Great," sighed the girl, sitting in her chair. She stared around the room until a door behind the teacher's desk caught her eye. She tapped Sandy on the shoulder (who was busy sending evil looks at Legolas) and the latter turned around. "What's up with that door?" she asked.   
  
Sandy looked bewildered. "It has something to do with taming Frodo...I'm not exactly sure."  
  
Megan then looked excited. "Do you want to find out?"  
  
"Umm...ok," Sandy hesitated. It was neither the first nor the last time someone had asked her to do something as strange as open a forbidden door...but the world will never stop turning (because if we did, we'd be dead and wouldn't know it).  
  
The two civilized girls crawled to the door (Elrond was too busy trying to keep Eowyn and Pippin apart) and opened it. Immediately, something past the girl and the room grew dark.  
  
"Oh, no! Not again," Elrond looked over towards the two. "Somebody let the stupid nazguls out..."  
  
"The what?" Megan asked.  
  
"Nazguls," a voice next to her whispered. "An evil spirit-type thing that you can't really take form unless it's wearing something...I think."  
  
"Who's talking to me?"  
  
"It is I, Galadriel, not shut the door before you let the rest out!" Galadriel appeared out of nowhere and soon, the dark shadow passed. "You curious humans are weak! Now you two go sit down before I turn you into something...unnatural!"  
  
"Like what?" Sandy ventured to ask, but soon realized her mistake. Before the two knew it, their shoelaces began to grow large...and scaly...and-  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! It's a snake!!! A SNAKE!!!" Megan screamed. The two girls then began to grow smaller...and whiter...  
  
"Mice," Gandalf laughed to himself. "Why didn't I think of that?"  
  
Soon, the snakes and mice were about their average size and the feud began. The mice ran up Galadriel's robes and landed into her pocket, tangling themselves in a ball of ribbons (what's that doing in her pocket?). Galadriel threw them out and re-transformed them into humans again. "That was a warning, children. Next time, the snake will get what it wants..."  
  
The girl grabbed their shoes (which had shoelaces again) and scurried to their seats, never dreaming that they had actually been mice...what kind of school was this?  
  
"YOU!!! YOU!!! DIIIIIIIE!!!" Eowyn screamed when she saw Pippin holding an ice cream scoop and trying to get into her lunch. "GET OUT OF THERE!!! OUT!!! OUT!!!"  
  
The hobbit grabbed the bag and the ice cream scoop and ran to the window, holding both items ominously. "I'll do it," Pippin threatened. Eowyn screamed and darted for the window, but Pippin got out of the way at the last second and sent the Lady of Rohan flying off the third floor.  
  
"EOWYN! EOWYN!!!" Faramir ran to the window and seeing his beloved wife lying unconscious on the ground, he also stupidly jumped. "I looooooooooooove you!"  
  
"And that, my friends," concluded Gandalf as Faramir hit the ground, "is a good example of an idiot and love. Love hurts and causes you to do stupid things. Let's leave them be..."  
  
Megan and Sandy stared in awe, but the bell soon rang and all was forgotten...until the next day.  
  
AN: yes, I know what a wraith is... 


	11. Official PickOnLegolas DAY!

AP Middle Earth  
By Alyssa Wood  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Author's Note: thanks again to Marina for sending MORE objects! Hey, if you really like this story, PLEASE send more items!!! My e-mail address is blue_eyes0874@yahoo.com! I just need four abnormal objects to continue the next chapter. THANKS!!!  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Official Pick-On-Legolas DAY!!!  
  
Megan awoke early the next morning with a splitting headache and a bad feeling settling in her stomach. She still hadn't gotten over the events from the previous day and didn't seem to be looking forward to going back. But curiosity pulled the sixteen-year-old out of bed and, still in her pajamas, walking to school. The only problem was: she was 3 hours early for school (5AM).  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Neither Sandy nor Megan knew where their APME classmates went after class, let alone after school. But Megan was soon to find out when she accidentally stepped on Pippin's nose in the middle of the football field.   
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Pippin cried, waking up Megan from her sleepwalking. Megan looked around in alarm and began to run, but unfortunately, she ran into Merry and tripped over his foot.  
  
"AHHHHHH!!! Where am I? What's going on?" Megan panicked. Pippin, Merry, Sam, and Frodo looked at her with equal confusion. "Why am I here? Why are YOU here?" Megan continued to interrogate.  
  
"Calm down, Miss Atwood," Sam tried to help her up and quiet her at the same time. "You are at school and it's early." Only a streetlight off in the distant illuminated the group enough for Megan to recognize the four waist-high hobbits.  
  
Merry began to laugh. "I knew Galadriel was up to something," he whispered to the other hobbits.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Megan returned to school at the proper time and early enough to arrive in class before the bell. Her hair was a brown tangle and she was constantly receiving disapproving looks from the elves, mostly Legolas.  
  
"She needs to do SOMETHING with her hair," Legolas thought disgustedly to himself, pulling out a nail file and returning to making his beautiful nails match the rest of his beautiful self. But unfortunately, Gandalf noticed the nail file.  
  
"GAGH!!!" Gandalf gasped, catching the glittering tool out of the corner of his eyes. "A NAIL FILE! I've been NEEDING one of those!" Gandalf came upon Legolas and snatched the file before you could say "preciousss".  
  
"AH!" Legolas returned in distress. "MY NAIL FILE! MY NAILS!!!"  
  
"Oh, put a sock in it, princess," Gandalf spat and started to file his own, dirty nails. Of course, Legolas, Son of Thranduil, never gives up that easily.  
  
"I WANT MY NAIL FILE BACK OR I'LL CUT YOUR HEAD OFF!" Legolas threatened, pulling out a pair of scissors (he stupidly left his bow at *home*). But never say no one warned him when Gandalf pulled out his staff and sent the poor elf flying out of the famous third story window.  
  
Megan gasped behind Sandy, who yawned. After seeing this same scene everyday for a few weeks, it gets boring after a while. But to the rest of the class, it's entertainment.  
  
Eowyn pulled out a set of matches, took Legolas' homework, and decided to burn it out of the window. "How do you like your homework, elf-boy? I hope you like it extra-crispy!" And the ashes dropped down onto Legolas' unconscious body.  
  
"That should teach him a lesson or two," Gimli sat down quite satisfied. "Stupid elves think they're so invincible. Ah! I must hand it to you, Gandalf. Good job, good job."  
  
And that wasn't the end of the day. In fact, it was only the beginning and the bell had barely rung for the beginning of class. But that never stopped a Took and a Brandybuck from sneaking out the door with a pair of tweezers in their hands. "Mischief" was their middle name and after that, the words "stupid" and "a danger to themselves" followed. Mostly because, who else do you know would walk up to an unconscious elf and try to pull out ever strand of golden hair before he wakes up?  
  
Legolas did wake up at the end of Elrond's lecture on third century elves and his missing hair was the first thing he noticed.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" a piercing scream echoed throughout the school and into the depths of the world. "MY HAIR!!! MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!!! WHERE DID IT GO? GAAAAAAAAAAANDAAAAAAAAAAAAALF!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" the elf ran up to the classroom and immediately attacked the wizard, but was stopped half way by Galadriel's extraodinary powers.   
  
"Calm down, you stupid elf! Do you want to get us all in trouble? Now sit down and be a good boy!" Galadriel commanded and Legolas sat shamefully in his seat. Megan turned to the corner of the class where the hobbits were each holding a wad of money.  
  
"Stupid little hobbits: selling Legolas' hair like that," whispered Sandy in a voice that she meant Legolas to hear. And he did.  
  
The end of class came a few minutes after along with four hobbits being hung outside the window by their furry little hobbit feet. Megan caught up with Sandy after the bell.  
  
"Why did you tell on the hobbits? That's tattle-tailing!" Megan cried angrily.  
  
"Because," Sandy laughed, "there's a greater power in this class than you could ever imagine."  
  
And the two parted, one losing respect for the other. 


	12. Punishments & Bubble Baths

AP Middle Earth  
By Alyssa Wood 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Author's Note: Marina, you are still awesome. You're the only person who still loves this story. HEY!!! LET'S PUSH FOR 30 REVIEWS!!! If we do, I will cry and hug Gollum *ewww*!!! Anyway, here's the next adventure for the amazing AP class! (Oh yeah, and AP= Advanced Placement for those of you who don't know and have argued that it meant "Approaching". My Question for you: Approaching what???).  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

** Punishments & Bubble Baths **

Sandy jumped when she heard a slam. She looked up to see the whole AP class staring at her. Elrond glared at the poor girl, causing her to wince. "Miss Winters, are you falling asleep in my class?" Elrond interrogated. 

"No, sir," Sandy yawned. 

"Are you yawning in my class?" 

"Umm..." 

"DETENTION!" Elrond boomed. The hobbits began togiggle to themselves in their far corner where they had gathered for the day. "Miss Winters, if you expect to pass my class, then I expect you to pay more attention." 

Sandy looked down at the note the master elf had handed her. 

"Sandra Winters  
Sophomore: '05  
Course: APME  
Period: 3  
For: disruptive behavior in class/falling asleep  
Suggested Punishment: helping the hobbit's bathroom afterschool.  
Teacher Signature: Elrond Halfelven" 

The girl fell back on her desk and groaned. This had to be a nightmare... 

-After School- 

"All around Middle Earth, Sauron chased poor Frodo! Thought it was all about the ring, *POP* went Sauron!" Pippin sang happily while he was taking his bath along with Frodo, Merry, Sam, and Rosie. "No, NO, PIP!" Merry splashed some water and bubbles at the singing hobbit. "That's NOT how it goes!" 

"Then how DOES it go, Merry?" Pippin challenged, throwing bubbles back at Merry. 

Sandy just sat in the middle of the tubs, being called on for more bubble bath soap, shampoo, and hot water. This was NOT her idea of fun, although the hobbits were very entertaining. She had no idea there were 5 bathtubs on campus, let alone such a nice bathroom. It was so amazing... 

"PIPPPPPPPPPPIN!" a voice screeched from somewhere in the building. The bathroom went silent and Pippin went pale. 

"What did you do this time, you stupid hobbit!?" Frodo threw water at him. 

Not a moment later, Eowyn came running into the room holding a razor and a shower cap with Faramir, Boromir, Arwen, and Aragorn closely following. The sight was one never to forget. Eowyn's head was half shaved with the other half looking quite tangled as if someone had tried to tie it up, but wasn't able to and left it that way. Sandy held her breath, trying not to burst out laughing. Not only did she have a half-shaved head, but also had been tattooed with "Ah supourt publek edukatshun" on her forehead. 

Pippin dashed for the door, but wasn't able to make it. "Oh, no you don't," Faramir held him back, putting a pair of goggles over his head. "You're coming with us. We men of Gondor must support our women!" 

Pippin desperately pointed at Arwen and Eowyn. "THEY'RE NOT WOMAN OF GONDOR!!!" he cried, but soon the hobbit was taken out of the room, leaving the others to laugh by themselves. 

"I hope Pip will be ok," Rosie commented, but when they heard a loud scream and an extraordinary *SPLASH*, then they knew what happened and began to laugh uncontrollably. 

Sandy, on the other hand, ran out of the bathroom and on home. She didn't care to stay any longer, even though she was due there until the end of their bath. Besides, Pippin had already gone and no one would miss her. She walked home in the darkness, but when she reached the door, a grin filled her face as she remembered what was tattooed on Eowyn's face. "Oh boy," she laughed as she stepped into her house. 


	13. Wash Aragorn's Hair Day

AP Middle Earth  
By Alyssa Wood  
Supported by Marina

~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Author's Note: I want to give a special "thanks" to Laicalasse for giving me the suggestions of the days to work with. This will be quite interesting. Marina: you've been upgraded to my "Supporter". Look above =)  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~

** Wash Aragorn's Hair Day**

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY HAIR STINKS? MY HAIR IS A LOT CLEANER THAN YOURS, GREASE-BOY!" Legolas cried out before class started. He and Aragorn were standing in front of the chalk board where the latter had written "Legolas' Hair Stinks!"

"Oh yeah?" Aragorn sneered. "Then what's that?" The Gondor King pointed at a glob of green Jell-O that a certain hobbit had mischievously put in the flowing blonde hair.

"AH! AH! AH!" Legolas panicked, finding the . "NO! NO! NO! THAT'S GOING TO LEAVE A STAIN!" Legolas ran out the door and down the hall, holding his precious hair in his hands.

Megan and Sandy snickered in their seats. Sandy looked very entertained as the elf had annoyed and pestered her about her bathroom experience the previous week.

"Finally, that hobbit has proved his uses," Eowyn sighed happily, finding joy in teasing the "perky elf".

Pippin jumped next to her and whispered in her ear, "Yeah, and you should check what Aragorn planted in YOUR hair!" 

Eowyn screamed, finding a lump of...well, something strange. "OH, YOU EVIL MAN OF GONDOR!!! DIE! FALL DOOM OF EVIL SOAP WATER!!!" Eowyn held up a blindfold and covered the King's eyes. "TAKE UP THE CRY OF 'DON'T PUT EVIL STUFF IN PEOPLE'S HAIR!!!'" 

Sandy and Megan followed enthusiastically, hoping to see something exciting and they weren't the only ones. The whole class, including Elrond, chased the girl down the halls while she struggled to drag a kicking Aragorn. But after a little "unseen magic", he was knocked unconscious and was left at the mercy of Eowyn.

Eowyn raced through halls, down some stairs, and finally to some unknown bathroom! She tossed the unconscious man into a bath and turned the water on full blast. "Finally," Eowyn wickedly stated, "I can do what I've been dying to do: WASH ARAGORN'S HAIR!!!"

When Aragorn woke up about a half an hour later, his hair was in beautifully done in dark French braids and he reeked of roses and perfume. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! MY HAIR!!! MY GREASY HAIR!!!" he shrieked. "SOME IS GOING TO DIE!!!"

"Don't look at me, Simeball," Eowyn turned to him, "it was Pippin. I swear to it!"

"PIPPIN!!!" Aragorn jumped from his seat and gagged the hobbit. Aragorn pulled out a magic hairbrush and began to brush the hobbits furry feet. "Feel the wraith of the brush!!!"

"NO! NO! NO!" Pippin coughed before being thrown out of the legendary window. The class ran to the window to observe the damaged done.

Elrond looked out unhappily from his seat. "Silence and sit," the elf lord sighed from behind his desk and magically the room was filled with silence and everyone arrived to their assigned seats. "We have done NOTHING to help us learn more in this course. This week we will be doing a few...projects." And he left it at that. The bell rang once again to disrupt the class.

This ends the first part of the "Week of Woes".


End file.
